I have gotten a lot of questions as to how my husband feels about everything. I honestly think it is the first thing that most people ask me when I first talk to them about the surrogacy. Unfortunately, he doesn't feel exactly the way I would like for him to feel.
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| Always making faces! |
This is my husband, Carlos. He is amazing and so supportive of pretty much anything I was to do. When it comes to the surrogacy, nothing has changed. He feels it is something that is my decision to make, and that if I feel so inclined to do this, then I can do it! I am so thankful that he is willing to allow me follow my heart. He always states how he feels, and he is rarely a very "sensitive" person, but he always leaves it open for me to make the ultimate decision on my own.
You may think this is great. He's supportive, so what is the big deal? Well, he really doesn't like the idea of me carrying someone else's baby. He thinks it is strange. He also feels some things should just be left alone. He has been throwing around the phrase "natural selection" a lot lately.
While I can see where he is coming from with this, I also feel that if God didn't want people to be able to have a baby any way other than the natural way, no one would have discovered in vitro! He wouldn't have allowed surrogacy to happen in the first place. Medical technology, well all technology really, has opened up SO many opportunities for people to do things that they never would have thought would be possible. If it weren't for all the advances that have been made, Ali probably would not have even known how unsafe it is for her to carry a child. Now, her life was saved by finding that out before it was too late, and the technology available allows her eggs to be removed and fertilized in a dish and put into my pod. Personally, I think that is pretty freaking awesome! I also feel that if Ali were not meant to have her own baby, she wouldn't have "great ovaries!"
So there Carlos, I love you, but I think you're wrong! I pray that throughout this process, you will truly realize what an amazing thing we are doing here! Hopefully, you'll get more out of it than just the humor in being able to say "it's not even my baby!"
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| Finally home from Afghanistan! |
You may think this is great. He's supportive, so what is the big deal? Well, he really doesn't like the idea of me carrying someone else's baby. He thinks it is strange. He also feels some things should just be left alone. He has been throwing around the phrase "natural selection" a lot lately.
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| Marine Corps Ball |
While I can see where he is coming from with this, I also feel that if God didn't want people to be able to have a baby any way other than the natural way, no one would have discovered in vitro! He wouldn't have allowed surrogacy to happen in the first place. Medical technology, well all technology really, has opened up SO many opportunities for people to do things that they never would have thought would be possible. If it weren't for all the advances that have been made, Ali probably would not have even known how unsafe it is for her to carry a child. Now, her life was saved by finding that out before it was too late, and the technology available allows her eggs to be removed and fertilized in a dish and put into my pod. Personally, I think that is pretty freaking awesome! I also feel that if Ali were not meant to have her own baby, she wouldn't have "great ovaries!"
So there Carlos, I love you, but I think you're wrong! I pray that throughout this process, you will truly realize what an amazing thing we are doing here! Hopefully, you'll get more out of it than just the humor in being able to say "it's not even my baby!"
Hopefully he comes around when I told Ross what you were doing he didn't like it either. He said I better not even think about doing something like that! I agree with you about the medical advances. Dont let him get you down. Its nine months and a baby forever. Also I remember a day Ross had to pick olyvia up for me cause I was too sick while pregnant with Georgia to come get her. He took her to work with him for an hour before bringing her to me. Everyone at work kept saying.... man you know that is not your kid! Marines are brutal!
ReplyDeleteI swear are husbands are almost one in the same sometimes!!! I tried talking to Jon about being a surrogate mother before and boy did I get the same response... but it was more of a lecture... But when I told him how I felt about it, he was really understanding and told me that if it was something that I really wanted to do, all that he asked was that I wait a few more years so the kids would be more understanding to it. I agreed to that. Your truly an amazing person Caryn and if you ever need an extra shoulder or ear, I am always here :) Ill be keeping you, Ali, and everyone else in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this! I intend to do a surrogacy for my cousins, and my husband is supportive, he likes thinking in clinic ways... you go to the clinic, come home pregnant. He doesn't like thinking that I'm carrying "another man's baby". While he is ecstatic that we are able to offer such a gift to people we love and are very close to, we have two children and he's not sure how he's NOT going to get attached to the baby. Honestly, I remember my pregnancies, and I don't remember him being OVERLY attached to our babies while I was pregnant! Ahh, selective memories ;)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it's good to know that so many men are able to overcome and let their wives do what they feel is right. :) Today my husband has a meeting with our pastor to get some guidance, because he feels BAD for feeling hesitant. Such a good man. :*)
Thank you again!