my first appointment.

Don't get too excited. It wasn't an appointment at the fertility clinic just yet! However, I did have an appointment with my primary physician to have my IUD removed. 

I was very please with how supportive my primary was about the surrogacy. She had legitimate questions, "why do you need birth control if you are trying to get pregnant?" It took a bit of explaining, but once she got it all, she was completely on board! She warned me about the rules with our insurance and surrogacy, but was happy to hear that Ali & Brian are military as well, and that I'm not being compensated. She encouraged me to request a social worker once we start the whole process to ensure I'm no stuck with bills I shouldn't have to pay. She also added on a full exam to my appointment, even though it wasn't on the schedule and, "the nurses are all going to freak out because I'm taking extra time!" Overall, she was great and even got me going on Pre-Natals without me asking. She also made me happy because her scale was nice to me. According to it, I weigh 3, almost 4 pounds, less than what I thought! 

So, as of 2120 (9:20pm) I am officially on birth control. I haven't been on "the pill" for probably almost 6 years now. I must say though, I kind of like NOT having the IUD in. I don't know if I should be able to notice a difference, but I swear I do. Here's to hoping I can remember to take my pill every day, and at the same time! I definitely do NOT want my own baby, so I can't go getting pregnant from the hubby. He just loves hates that condoms are on the agenda for the net month. But, that is just too bad. No Carlos, we can't just give them our baby if we get pregnant!

Now for the not so good part of the appointment. During the exam, we went over family history, cancer, heart disease, etc. When doing the breast exam, she asked if I had any abnormal spots that I was concerned about. Unfortunately, I did have 3 spots in particular that I wanted her to look at. I noticed them "months" ago. How many? I don't know, 3, 6, maybe more. Either way, from the first time I noticed the, I knew they didn't look good. I have incredibly fair skin that I haven't always cared about. As I've aged, I've tried SO hard to be good about protecting and taking care of my skin. I now realize how serious it is and have accepted that fact that I'm a "pasty white girl!" Anyways, as soon as she saw the first spot she said, "hmmm, they are definitely irregular," and then immediately asked if there is a family history of melanoma. She then proceeded to measure all 3 spots and put in a referral for dermatology. At the end of the appointment, she said it will take about 2 weeks to hear from dermatology. That means it could take a month or more to get an actual appointment. 

I'm trying my best not to freak out, but I really can't help it. I've always felt as though skin cancer was a probability with me, but I always hoped it just wouldn't happen. I'm stressed about the fact it could take so long to get into dermatology. I'm seriously considering calling some derm offices tomorrow and finding out how much it would cost to be seen and have a biopsy. I don't want to wait. I'm not scouring the internet for information, I know that will just lead to a bunch of posts about worst case scenarios that will freak me out even more. So, I'm sticking with the official medical sites only. However, they still tell it like it is, and frankly, it's scary! 

To be clear, I have NOT been diagnosed with anything. These spots could be absolutely nothing, and I hope and pray that is exactly what they are. I will tell you one thing, I will definitely be SO much more careful from this point on. I hate hats, but I'm thinking I need to learn to love them. Maybe I should invest in some sunblock stock because I'm going to be using it like crazy! 

While we wait to hear about it all, thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated!!